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Preventive Maintenance in Marriages -- Pastor Esther Ojeagbase

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Pastor Esther Ojeagbase wrote:
Three (3) things to use in preventing our Marriage and in our relationship 

Preventive maintenance in marriages is very important in other to keep the marriage running and to foresee likely problems in our marriages before they emerge. Marriage is much like a car. It can work absolutely fine until the day it suddenly stop. Outwardly, everything worked and looked fine. But you get up one morning to find the car no longer runs not because of the external look but only because of the internal problem which could have been prevented if maintenance and servicing have been done to the car earlier. This also happens in marriages.

Most marital problems could have been prevented with standard preventive maintenance.
When things are going good in a marriage we have a tendency to grow lax. After all, things are great! Things are fine! But all the things we did to get the marriage strong we need to continue. It is amazing the efforts that we put into a marriage to fix it. But once it's fixed, we sit back, relax, and let our guard down. And things begin to run down and fall apart.

Preventive maintenance in marriage should actually be fun and enjoyable. Here are some tips and suggestions on keeping your marriage strong:

TALK EVERYDAY
Communication is the foundation of all good relationships. Having time to talk, having time to communicate is an essential part of good maintenance.

Talking allows you to keep abreast of the other person's life. If you are like most people, you go your separate ways until the evening. Don't let your tiredness and exhaustion from a hard day's work keep you from reconnecting in your marriage. A marriage needs daily attention. Communication is perhaps the single greatest means to give it the loving attention it needs.

If you don't know how to communicate well, find resources and books that can teach you. Learning to communicate is a skill. It's not something we are born with. If you can master some of the essential aspects of good communication, you'll have a tremendous tool to use in preventive maintenance in your marriage.

EVALUATE YOUR MARRIAGE AT LEAST ONCE A MONTH
We all hate to be criticised. No one likes to think they are wrong. But it is essential that you make some effort to see your marriage from the eyes of your spouse.  Sometimes ask your spouse if there is anything she/he would like to change about you. Do this to discover where concerns are.  Issues are in marriage before they become problems or a crisis so learn to discover it.

Be careful not to get defensive when you do this. Often, we should inform ourselves of issue that merely slight adjustment in what we do or schedule will solve. We don't have to argue with ourselves, fight ourselves, or defend ourselves. It's about finding out the issues and solving them before they become a crisis.
 In most cases, a slight adjustment several months previous would have prevented the crisis and all the pain that comes along with it. Preventive maintenance in our marriages can help prevent unwanted problem and some unforeseen circumstances. Have scheduled times each week to spend with each other and discuss deeply with one another.
It is important to create time for one another. People with busy schedules often fail to schedule time for each other or find themselves too tired to spend good quality time with each other. This is a mistake.

HAVE SCHEDULED TIMES EACH WEEK TO SPEND WITH EACH OTHER
Set evenings aside each week to spend with each other.  Talk at length If you are capable, have a full fledged date every week. Men need this to re establish their priorities in life. Women need this to reconnect with their husbands. It is an essential part of preventive maintenance.

If couples would merely do these three things, they would solve most issues before they became a crisis.

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